Sunday, December 19, 2004
HellO... It is a long tiMe since the last time i type in this blog... i got to find somewhere to put my feelings into somehow rite?Holidays are here.. and i got to admit, it felt great.somehow as because i get to wake and sleep late, get to do things i wanted, totally no stress, LEISURE TIME!... hehex... buT, in a way, it craved a very great negative impact on me- i lost my discipline in me, a discipline that keeps control on my studies time.. this whole holidays until now, i have not even touch my books or done any revision.. i sort of felt very guilty, i always tell myself don;t hestistate to resfrain myself from the biggest addiction in my life-computer games , studies is the first, or rather the main priority in my life, especially that next year is my O-level examination-a extremely important examination tht will determines the turning point of my life.. but despite of this fact, i stil have the cheek to laze around. Why? I think, till now, i have lost touch.. i have to feel my books, the stress around me... until then, i will feel that at least i have done something beneficial to me, to my future, to make my parent proud me...WHY? why can't i attain my goal of thinking this way? I simply hate the feeling of regretfing.IN FACT ,I DONT WANT THAT FEELING AT ALL REMAINING INSIDE OF MY HEART! I REALLY DON'T! I CAN'T! I feel that i have let down to myself, my studies, my parents, and my teachers.. how could i not have done my revision for this holidays... how can i? oh m y.. i cant let myself do this.. i cant... i wont. i must'nt...tOxIc sUn reminisced on 12:30 AM
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