Friday, December 24, 2004
Oh my god, i didnt expect tht there is people in this world knew my identity in this blogger thingy.. oh mY! i just discovered tht.. FriEnds oUt there who noE thIS bLogger of mine, pLease kEep confidential the things i wrote. tHANKs! AnD.. tell Me thT u knew, okae? ThaNks!!!tOxIc sUn reminisced on 5:10 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I finally found a song that is directly refering to my dream. It is "Born to make you happy". The lyrics of this song is what i want to express through my dream. You see, after so many days, i stil can't be able to forget that, stil holding on a glimpse of hope tightly against on my heart. I should not do that. Why can't i forget that? gEez.. moreever , on that day, i boldly told the person "love ya!". I don't even know what is going on thru my mind over and over again. I just want to say that out of my mouth. Shoot! Den he reply back with the same two words. My heart melt instantly. Geez.. how can i say that! I am not in love rite? Never. I don't know what is going thru his mind when he say that, i think that he thinks that i am kidding wif him. If he really thinks that way, i going to say right in front of his face :" hey! i never kid in this kinda of things ok!?. I never joke with this!".geEz, i hope he will notice. And part of me oso are hoping this crazy part of me will disminshed in time to come. But i noe i cant.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lyrics of the song:
oh my love
Oh yeah ...
Oh yeah...
I'm sitting here alone up in my room
and thinking about the times that we've been through
(oh my love)
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really wanna know what we did wrong
with a love that felt so strong
if only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right
[chorus]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
I know I've been a fool since you've been gone
I better give it up and then carry on (oh my love)
Cause living in a dream of you and me
Is not the way my life should be
I don't wanna cry a tear for you, so forgive me if I do
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right
[chorus]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Oh yeah ...
I'd do anything
I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever to be your girl
Just call out my name (just call out my name)
And I will be there (and I will be there)
Just to show you how much I care
alright
I was born to make you happy
yeah, yeah ...
Oh yeah, yeah
[chorus]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
Oh no, no
I was born to make you happy
Oh yeah, oh oh yeah
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tOxIc sUn reminisced on 4:05 PM
Monday, December 20, 2004
"WOW!", seems to be the only word i could exclaimed out of this dream, even though it is just a dream.THe dream seems so real and i could hardly breathe when i went to think the dream all over again. I just couldn't get it off my mind and part of me is acually hoping that this would actually come true.WHY? i already tell myself to stop myself from imagainating this or to believe that person once again.BUt i just can't. Don't tell me that i am already madly in love with that person. I just can't forget it. Wow! I tried so hard to convince myself to believe in that person once again. BUt everytime i does that, a turn-around event will make me feel as if i m wrong about my instinct. WHy is it a pain? i set myself so many rules so as to keep myself controlled. BUt in the revolving world, everyone is changing, even for myself. I have not keep in contact with tht person for long, i don't know if that person have changed. I don't even know why i have that dream. BUt that dream was so beautiful, i can even feel the feeling i was experiencing back then- it was breathlessly wonderous. I am speechless.My dream was: On that particular day, i was with my friends on a vacation. We were more on the nature side of the vacation, went to stay at a resort near by. The resort is in the forest. It was raining heavily on that day so we stay in resort. We were eating together in the cafeteria . Den i was sitting beside my friend(the person), we chatted happily and the whole scencario was that the way we pass the bottle of sauce to one another. THe feeling of the touch was like i was electricuted all over and i want that feeling again. Rain stops, sun shines, we ran out of the resort with up-beat mood. WHile running, what i want to experience again came again- the touch of his hand slip into my hand and clutched tightly as we run. I stopped ,stared at him and i smiled to him.Then, i clasped my hands on to his arm and we both knew what is going on. We looked into each other's eyes with a strong mixture of feeling gently stired together.Finally.Nice. And then my dream ended with my brother calling me to wake up. You might think that it was another naive school girl who felt in love rite.. Nono.. it was not anything like that. Seeing him again and again felling in love with others make me have a strong tinkling of jealousy knotted in my heart. But everytime we chat bout it, it was difficult for me to be a fair person to speak with a fair view point. DIfficult uH? yes..
DO you want to know who is him? the clue is Look at the Sky.
tOxIc sUn reminisced on 10:51 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
HellO... It is a long tiMe since the last time i type in this blog... i got to find somewhere to put my feelings into somehow rite?Holidays are here.. and i got to admit, it felt great.somehow as because i get to wake and sleep late, get to do things i wanted, totally no stress, LEISURE TIME!... hehex... buT, in a way, it craved a very great negative impact on me- i lost my discipline in me, a discipline that keeps control on my studies time.. this whole holidays until now, i have not even touch my books or done any revision.. i sort of felt very guilty, i always tell myself don;t hestistate to resfrain myself from the biggest addiction in my life-computer games , studies is the first, or rather the main priority in my life, especially that next year is my O-level examination-a extremely important examination tht will determines the turning point of my life.. but despite of this fact, i stil have the cheek to laze around. Why? I think, till now, i have lost touch.. i have to feel my books, the stress around me... until then, i will feel that at least i have done something beneficial to me, to my future, to make my parent proud me...WHY? why can't i attain my goal of thinking this way? I simply hate the feeling of regretfing.IN FACT ,I DONT WANT THAT FEELING AT ALL REMAINING INSIDE OF MY HEART! I REALLY DON'T! I CAN'T! I feel that i have let down to myself, my studies, my parents, and my teachers.. how could i not have done my revision for this holidays... how can i? oh m y.. i cant let myself do this.. i cant... i wont. i must'nt...tOxIc sUn reminisced on 12:30 AM
